Almost There

First, I need to start out by saying that I passed my Senior Competency exam! It is a long story of what happened this time around, and seeing as I sort of have lost a lot of motivation to study for my two finals that I have tomorrow, I will tell it.

So...Tuesday, April 22nd was Senior Test Day at Master's. For Bible majors, it is the day where you attempt to pour out 35+ pages of memorized information into a test that lasts 3 hours. I took the test (with a migrane due to the fact that I couldn't sleep the night before) and I felt like I did incredibly well. I got all of the bold questions right (which are essential for passing) and I felt like I answered all of the other questions accurately and in depth. Sure, I had some verse numbers wrong, but otherwise, I felt great. I couldn't wait to get my results back. By Wednesday, I was hearing from some Bible majors with different advisors than mine, that their advisor had told them that they passed. On Friday, I'd heard that a guy who has the same advisor as me had passed. I was jealous, and starting to get nervous. I had to endure the weekend in the dark of not knowing, and it was frustrating. So Monday, I went with my friend Jarod into the Bible department because we both still hadn't heard anything from our advisor yet. We go down to his office, and Jarod steps in and asks "I was just wondering if I'd passed Sr. Comp?" and our advisor is all, "Yeah, from my end you did, I just passed the info on to the Dept. Head." Okay, so I poke my head in and ask if I did, and he hesitates and says "Um, I'm not sure, you're going to have to check with the Dept. Head." So now I'm really nervous. Why wouldn't he have said yes to me too? So we go to the secretary and asked if she had the notices, and she did, they hadn't been put in the campus mail yet today. She asks for our names, sorts through them and hands them to me and Jarod.
Jarod passed.
I didn't.
Again. I felt sick. Similar to the feeling that I'd felt when I realized I'd messed up the bold question last semester. Except this was worse. I was to be graduating in 2 weeks. So, I went outside and started crying. I called my roommate and told her the news, and then I decided I had to talk to the Dept. Head and try and explain how hard I worked and that this was not fair at all. Jarod gave me a big hug, and then I had to go and take an Ethics test. I took the test, crying the whole time, and I left right after it. (Amazingly I got a B on that test!). We waited for the Dept. Head (Halstead) for about an hour, and I was trying to make conversation with Jarod even though I just felt like crying and pretty much dying. Halstead finally shows up and I ask if I can talk with him really quick, and he had about 10 minutes before his next appointment, so he was able to. I go in his office, trying not to cry, unsuccessfully, and tell him how much I studied and I don't feel like even if I were to take the test again in November I would be able to pass it. Basically, I didn't get as merciful of a response as I was hoping for, but he told me to talk to my advisor. So I left his office and had to get to work. Got to work, crying, and everyone was really empathetic. Hugs all around. I was able to call Behle and I left a message for him about not passing, etc. I left my email address for him to get back to me the quickest, and when I got home from work he'd emailed me with a tentative plan of what the next step was. Last Wednesday rolls around and it's the Baccalaureate Chapel. Behle won teacher of the year, so I went up and shook his hand and he said, "Oh Jessica, this is what we're going to do...I talked to Halstead and we've decided we're going to let you write a five page paper on one of the questions from the test that you missed and turn it in in a week." I was so thrilled! God really does work in mysterious, gracious ways. So I wrote the paper this past Saturday, and handed it in to Behle yesterday. Today when I went to campus to turn in my English Literature final paper and journals, I went to go sell back my books. After getting $32, I checked my campus mailbox and inside was THE LETTER!!! The letter that finally said "Congratulations" as opposed to the previous two that have said "I'm sorry to inform you that..." I was smiling from ear to ear for like an hour afterwards as I called my roomie, her mom, my mom, and my grandma.
Now, here I am, needing to study for my Ethics and Church Planting finals and I really don't want to. I'll study a bit soon, and do my best with the info. I have.
I am really speechless in terms of the amount of grace that has been shown to me, really throughout my entire life, but especially the past two years at Master's. What a blessing it's been to have been able to go to a small Christian school where they really do care about me as an individual with individual needs. These past two years have been more challenging than I ever could have imagined. From a year of struggling through Hebrew and a year of struggling through Senior Comp., I really feel like I have been stretched, and I am so confident in my God that has pulled me through it all. I wish that I could articulate how thankful I am for His goodness to me, but I will always fall short there.
Graduation will truly be that much sweeter because of this additional trial I have had to go through. I am grateful for the opportunity to have written a 5 page paper on the life of Paul- he was truly an amazing witness for our Almighty Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

All glory be to HIM!!!