My favorite thing about Ms. Jessica

On Thursday, Amanda thought it'd be cute to ask our kids what their favorite thing about the other teacher was. Here's the list that I got:

Gunnar: Sitting on her lap.
Jason: I like hugging her.
Jack: I love her!
Madison: I like playing Hi-Ho Cherry-o with her.
Amanda: I love her!
Evan F.: When she says goodbye to me at the front office.
Alexander: I love her a lot!
Jessa: I'm going to miss her love.
Gage: I love her!
Dylan: Hugging her!
Kelsey: I love to hug her.
Carmela: I love her
Catelyn: Playing Hi-Ho Cherry-o with her.

Ethan, Christian and Evan G. weren't in class this whole week, so we weren't able to ask them. These three boys are not coming back for summer camp, and it breaks my heart that I was not able to say goodbye. Ethan and Evan G. were my little cuddle bugs, in addition to Gage being one too. It's funny and precious that my 3 cuddlebugs were all boys. We didn't have super cuddly girls in our class.

As a gift, I received a book from one of the moms of a girl in my class that she herself wrote and published this year. It is called "Waves Crashing" and I really enjoyed it. (yes, I received it yesterday and couldn't put it down last night, so i woke up this morning and finished it.) It was a story of a family that goes through an intense tradgedy and the emotions and changes that came with it. The book is mostly about how they dealt with the tradgedy in the full year after the event, realizing the importance of family and family values. It made me miss my family so much. I have slid into a weird homesickness lately, as my little sister is about to get her driver's license in about a month. I'm missing her whole high school life, and it is heart-wrenching. I want so badly right now to be able to live back up in the Bay Area. I'm done with Southern California. It has nothing to offer me, like apparently it does for so many people. Coming to school here was a nice adventure, but I'm ready for that to be over with. I am lonely and depressed a lot of the time, and it feels like nobody wants me or needs me at all. I have a job that I couldn't love more, but I don't know if the tradeoff of when I'm not there is worth it. I'm due to move out of the apartment that I've lived in for the past 2.5 years in about 3 weeks, and while I was excited for the change, I'm just not as excited about the place I will be living... for who knows how long. I'm moving in with one of my co-workers and her husband (as well as their current roommate) who just bought their first house. It needs some work done to it, as it is probably a 25+ year old house. But that's not what I'm concerned about. I guess the part that I am dreading is sharing the only bathroom outside of the master with their roommate, Allyn. He is just a nasty boy that is very inconsiderate of others. I will be in the room directly next to his and his yappy dog's. It will definitely be a change for me, for I haven't lived with boys (or a dog) since living in my parents' house with my dad and brother in 2003. Especially to go from living practically alone to living with 3 other people, two being guys. I'm nervous! I get along with Jenn and Steve alright, but not really with Allyn. So that could make for some interesting encounters when we are sharing the same bathroom and he is a gross slob...
sigh. I just feel dissapointed with life right now. Like I created this mess that I'm in, and I don't know how to get out of it. If I were to move back up to the Bay Area, where would I live? There is no no no way that I could handle living with Debra. She is one of those people that after 3 days of spending a solid amount of time with her, I need a break. I like spending short snippets of time with her, so being a roommate would NOT work. I would be frustrated all the time. I guess the bigger issue would have to be- where would I work full time?! In order to pay rent I would have to have at least a $10/hr. job. I guess I could see about going back to my old job at Tabernacle Christian School. I just don't know. I would miss the people that I love here, but all of them have lives that they could easily continue living without me. I'm not too big of a factor in any one of their lives right now, that's why I say that. I guess my biggest dream that i've been clinging to for a while now is that I meet someone down here that I fall in love with and can start a family of my own with. That way, I won't be short on sharing the love that I have festering in my heart. (And it really is 'festering' because I have no one to share it with, and it is only causing me heart-ache to have it just sitting there not being used) But at this point, I am really starting to doubt that that will ever happen. Nothing even remotely close has happened with any guy since I have lived in SoCal. Four million people live here (I guess that'd make it like 2 million guys or something), and I can't even find one?!?! NOT EVEN ONE OUT OF 2 MILLION?!?! It's a heartache that I can't begin to describe. I've tried to begin describing it, but I'm not eloquent with words, and so I fall way short.
Welp. Talking about it to my laptop ain't doing anything for the issue at hand. Guess I'm off to get the mundane errands of grocery shopping and laundry done...alone. :.(